About five years ago, I attended a Professional Training for AWA facilitators. We were an energetic group, and we all had a vital thing in common. We wanted to help people write and heal through their writing.

photo by Unsplash/Jlupco

A friend, Teegan Mannion, gave a presentation about what she learned from therapeutic clowning. As a clown, she followed four rules recommended by Angeles Arrien, the cultural anthropologist. The rules are: Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. Don’t be attached to the outcome.

Teegan spent ten years working at SickKids, a children’s hospital in Toronto. She went to every unit in that hospital. She saw children and their parents in crisis. The crises ranged from trauma and cancer to severe burns. These four rules helped her to approach these families. They helped her transition from one patient to the next.

Show up

Before entering any room, she breathed and centered herself before knocking on the door. She would show up with her whole self, undistracted by the child she had just seen or the child she needed to see next.

Being centered let her listen for the silence under the chatter. It let her co-regulate with the nervous systems of the patients. People unconsciously mirror each other, so it’s easier to relax when those around you are relaxed.

Pay Attention

By paying attention in an encounter, she could enjoy the delight of nurturing and being nurtured in return. Paying attention allowed her to serve and to experience joy in the service. She didn’t feel as drained at the end of the day.

Tell the Truth

She was authentic. She made her true self visible. As a clown, she could exaggerate the insecurity she felt. “Oh, you don’t want to see me today? Is it my hat? Oh, I put too many flowers on my hat. Or maybe you hate my red nose.” By getting a child to smile, she could often get them to engage with her. Her humanity made her endearing. But if they were too sick, and she didn’t get permission to come in, she went on to the next room.

You or I probably couldn’t get away with that much directness, but we can still celebrate what makes us different without judgment. The payoff is affirmation and acceptance. And if we find rejection, there’s no need to take it personally

Don’t Be Attached to the Outcome

Do the best you can; work to the best of your ability, but don’t worry about things that are out of your control.

These rules are simple, but they’re not easy. When I left the conference and went back to my job as a physician, I stood outside a patient exam room door. I took a deep breath and centered myself before I knocked.

(This post is a revised version of an earlier post.)