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Writing a Memoir Is Iterative

A Book Review

Last week, I began working my way through Jennie Nash’s new book, Blueprint for a Memoir. I have long been a fan of Jennie’s, and I read her first two books in this series, Blueprint for a Book (for fiction) and Blueprint for a Nonfiction Book. Since I am revising a memoir draft, I found this her most helpful book yet.

Fourteen steps form the blueprint. This book doesn’t apply to people who are writing memoirs for family or other personal reasons. The subtitle of the book is How to Write a Memoir for the Marketplace. (more…)

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To Be Astonished

Yesterday on our walk, my husband pointed out a large bush with shiny green leaves, growing by the side of the road.

“This plant used to grow out in the swamp near the lake,” he said. He meant his family vacation cottage on Webster Lake in Massachusetts. “I saw it a few days ago, and when I looked for it yesterday, I couldn’t find it. But here it is today. I looked it up online. It’s a buttonbush.”

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Writing Sorrow and Solace

feather with colorful squirts stuck into an inkwell

photo credit: fffranz

In September 2021, just three weeks before I stopped seeing patients in the clinic, I wrote in response to a poem titled “Things That Can Be Lost.” I wasn’t consciously thinking about the imminent loss of relationships with my patients. At first, I wrote about my feelings.

“I thought I had lost my anxiety until it returned this week, anxiety about nothing, about everything, free-floating anxiety. I’m mirroring the emotion that’s ratcheting up in the world, in social media. Bubbles have been created by politics and by social isolation during the pandemic. The bridges of kindness are worn down like our infrastructure. They are at risk of being washed away.”

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When Caregiving Crosses Creativity

This week I shared a piece with my writing group that didn’t feel successful. I wrote a response to a prompt that was full of false starts and repeated attempts to begin. I finally stumbled on a topic but then ran out of time.

The feedback I got was still valuable. One writer pointed out that the false starts had a coherence I didn’t recognize. Another commended me for showing my struggle with writing, something that happens to all of us.

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Narrative Threads

Insights from Writing a Memoir

In September 2021, I met with my memoir group. We had been meeting together for a year to get our first drafts written. The prompt was a familiar William Stafford poem, “The Way It Is.”

 

 

My writing that day gave me insight into what my memoir was about. The poem speaks of a thread that you hold on to as you go through life. Until I wrote my memoir, I didn’t know what that thread was for me. I didn’t know what thread got me through the roughest spots. (more…)

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How to Be an Authentic Clown

About five years ago, I attended a Professional Training for AWA facilitators. We were an energetic group, and we all had a vital thing in common. We wanted to help people write and heal through their writing.

 

A male clown gesturing on a blank panel isolated on white background

photo by Unsplash/Jlupco

 

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The Middle Path of Empathy

In Buddhism, there is a middle path. Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, was born into a life of indulgence. Later in his life, he practiced extreme asceticism and deprivation. When he sat meditating under the Bodhi tree, he became enlightened, and he found a middle path.

 

Image by Freepik

 

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Learning Spiritual Truths

Last week I mentioned the first agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements, be impeccable with your word. Today’s post is about agreement #3, don’t make assumptions.

spa stones isolated on white background

photo by: eplisterra

 

Being a Palliative Care doctor helped me learn to be more direct in my speech. One of the keys to this was to stop making assumptions. I didn’t know if someone would be hurt by something I said. I didn’t know if they would get angry. I learned to ask nonjudgmental, noncharged questions. Genuine curiosity unlocked the door to better communication. (more…)

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Staying Safe on the Learning Curve

Combining Two Models

Miccosukee Land Co-op, Tallahassee FL, photo by Deborah Bayer

 

The members of the writing group I facilitate have been together for six months. And the safety of the group is up to me. I no longer consider myself a freshman facilitator. I am a sophomore, or as my father called them, wise morons. The word sophomore derives from the Greek, sophos meaning wise and moros meaning foolish, as in moron.

Some aspects of facilitation have become easier, like time management. Some are getting harder because I failed to set and maintain expectations from the very beginning. To be honest, I didn’t fully understand what it meant to mix two different models. I’m struggling now. My group has strayed from strict adherence to the AWA method. The feedback is supposed to be about the writing, not about how it affects the reader, nor about the person who wrote it. (more…)

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The Value of Reframing

Reprised from April 20, 2019

Some of the worst times in my life have turned out to be the impetus for some of the best times. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I examined my choices in a close way. I didn’t make a lot of changes immediately, but I planted seeds that led to improvement in my lifestyle and my health. It led me to become certified in Hospice and Palliative Medicine in 2013.

When circumstances combined so I wasn’t able to maintain my private practice, I found my way back to the compassionate, supportive team at the HIV Clinic. Though I wrote several escape fantasy poems, I clung fiercely to the life that I knew. It was the only way forward that I could see. It’s only in retrospect that it became clear: what seemed like a destructive process was really a deliverance, (more…)